Information for Survivors

What is Intimate Partner Domestic Violence?

Intimate partner domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior used by people to control their intimate partners. It encompasses abusive tactics including, but not limited to, physical and sexual violence; threats of violence; economic, emotional, and psychological abuse; and/or the use of privilege.

Red Flags

• Wants to move too quickly into the relationship.
• Wants you all to their-self; insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family.
• Insists that you stop participating in hobbies or activities, quit school, or quit your job.
• Does not honor your boundaries, but demands theirs.
• Is excessively jealous and accuses you of being unfaithful.
• Wants to know where you are all the time and frequently calls, emails, and texts you throughout the day. May even check your phone and/or computer.
• Criticizes or puts you down; says you are crazy, stupid, and/or too skinny/fat/unattractive or that no one else would ever want or love you.
• Takes no responsibility for their behavior and blames others.
• Has a history of abusing others.
• Blames the entire failure of previous relationships on their former partner; for example, "My ex was totally crazy."
• Takes your money or runs up your credit card debt.
• Rages out of control with you, but can maintain composure around others.

Abuse is never the fault of the victim and leaving can be difficult for many reasons, including safety to end a relationship. If you suspect you are in an abusive relationship, you can reach out to a friend for support or to an advocate at S.A.F.E. Place. Abusers work to isolate the victim from supporters and loved ones making it more difficult to end the relationship.

If you believe a friend or relative is being abused, offer your nonjudgmental support or call S.A.F.E. Place to learn about more ways you can be supportive.